


Arrhythmia

by fukuronami



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Musical References, Osasuna, Song fic, sunaosa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:02:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27270895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fukuronami/pseuds/fukuronami
Summary: Suna Rintaro did not know how to respond when his best friend, Miya Osamu, had confessed to him earlier today after their graduation ceremony though he felt the same way. They soon realize that sending each other songs is their love language.Arrhythmia (n.) - an irregularity in the rhythm of a heart's beat"Arrhythmia. Accepting that you live with uncertainty. If you're lonely, press play."- Lonely Press Play by Damon Albarn
Relationships: Miya Osamu & Suna Rintarou, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Osasuna - Relationship, sunaosa
Comments: 19
Kudos: 88





	Arrhythmia

I. 

Suna Rintaro did not know how to respond when his best friend, Miya Osamu, had confessed to him earlier today after their graduation ceremony. Comebacks and witty remarks usually came easy to Rintaro, but matters of the heart are an entirely new thing for him. Not that he had a hard time showing his sincere emotions, he just did not know how to accept such feelings even though he felt the same way for him for quite a long time now. The culprit was his own doubts and pessimism towards himself. 

"You don't.. have to give me an answer right away. I’d be willing to wait." Osamu had said when he saw the hesitation on Rintaro's face. This was much appreciated, as he needed the time to properly think without getting carried away by his emotions. 

  
  
  


Rintaro was sprawled out on his bed, hand hovering over his phone's keyboard, trying to think of a proper reply. Tens of minutes have passed and he was still staring at Osamu's chat box, the message line ticking as if beckoning him to finally confess that he reciprocated his feelings and he also wanted to be more than friends. However, doubts once again clouded his mind. He knew himself and what kind of person he is, and he feared that he was not the one who could truly make Osamu happy. Thoughts were loud in his head once more as he debated with himself. 

  
  


Osamu was pacing around his room, fidgeting with his phone. _Dammit. Maybe I shouldn't have confessed. I definitely should not have confessed. What if this ruins our friendship?_ His thoughts were interrupted when his phone suddenly made a notification sound. With sweaty, shaking hands, he peeked at his phone, scared to face the reality of reading Rintaro's reply. He breathed in and out to calm himself before he opened the message that Rintaro sent. It was a song. Curiously, he pressed play. As the song played, he wondered why Rintaro would suddenly just send a song recommendation after everything that happened that day. It was only when the chorus hit when he understood Rintaro’s intention for sending the song;

> _If you could you keep it together_
> 
> _For a moment in time_
> 
> _Then you'd see that I'd be_
> 
> _Your excuse for a lover_
> 
> _Your own mountain to climb_
> 
> _You would see_

As he heard those lyrics, he felt a pang in his chest. Osamu got the message that Rintaro was trying to say. It pained him to know that the person he loved thought of himself as a challenge, as a person who is hard to love. This was the reason for Rintaro's hesitation. Instead of discouraging Osamu however, this just made him all the more determined to prove that he loves Rintaro as he is, flaws and all.

It took him a while to think of how to reply to Rintaro. Once he made up his mind, he was confident that his message would get through. _It's now or never, 'Samu._ he thought to himself. With a nervous hand, he pressed send. 

Rintaro was just staring at the ceiling, thoughts racing, when his phone vibrated. A smile formed itself on his face when he saw that he was replied to with a song as well. 

> _I'd like to walk around in your mind someday_
> 
> _I’d like to run and jump on your solitude_
> 
> _You say you just want peace and to never hurt anyone_
> 
> _You see the end before the beginning has ever begun_
> 
> _I would disturb your easy tranquillity_
> 
> _I'd turn away the sad impossibility of your smile_
> 
> _I'd sit there in the sun of the things I like about you_
> 
> _I'd sing my songs and find out just what they mean to you_

He listened intently and the smile on his face grew.

It was Osamu saying that he wanted to be part of his life. It was a stubborn love letter ensuring him that despite everything Rintaro thought about himself, he'd still want to be by his side through it all. It was a warm, beautiful welcome into his embrace. Message received. 

II.

"So there's this new song I discovered the other day," Osamu looked at Rintaro who was excitedly going through his phone's music library, searching for the new-found song, "and I think you'd love it." 

They had just finished a simple picnic in a secluded area of the nearby park, and were lying down on a blanket spread across the grass. Hours were spent just talking about anything and everything. Both were so engrossed in their conversation that neither realized that the moon had already started to brightly shine upon them. Even if they had already been dating for 2 years, they never ran out of things to talk about. 

"Ah, found it." Rintaro exclaimed. "Here," he offered the left side of his earphones to Osamu who lovingly took it and placed it in his ear. As the song started to play, Rintaro rested his head on Osamu's chest, one ear listening to the song, the other listening to his love's heartbeat. The way the soft instruments formed its harmony made it a magical kind of song. Osamu wrapped his arms around Rintaro, who in turn smiled as he felt secure being in his embrace.

> _Sit down beside me and stay a while_
> 
> _Let our hearts do their parts_
> 
> _With wine and words to meet the hours_
> 
> _So the day never starts_
> 
> _Cause that's what I want_
> 
> _That's what we need_
> 
> _Sit down beside me and stay awhile_
> 
> _Till we're old and grey_
> 
> _Till we've got nothing left to say_

Osamu stared up at the night sky with a content smile on his face. The stars seemed to sparkle a bit brighter that night. All he wanted was to remain in this moment of pure bliss, holding the love of his life tight in his arms, relishing in the melody of the song softly playing through shared earphones. Osamu would not mind it if the night went on forever and tomorrow never came. 

III. 

It has been almost a week since there was tension between the two of them. An argument over some trivial matter had turned into a full-on petty fight in which Rintaro kept deflecting, or at least in Osamu's point of view. They were no strangers to arguments, but recently Rintaro was so volatile and Osamu felt it without a doubt. "Why're you even bringing that up when that ain't even the issue at hand, Rin?" Osamu raised his voice a bit too much, which Rintaro rolled his eyes at. "You just really don't get it, do you? What I'm trying to say is that you don't even try to understand me sometimes." Rintaro said in irritation, giving up on trying to make Osamu see his point. He hated leaving an argument unfinished, feeling as if it's a loss on his part, but he really just had no energy to talk any longer. 

Before Osamu could retort, he got his jacket and keys and stormed out of their shared apartment, loudly slamming the door to make sure that Osamu knew that he was still frustrated even if he was the first one to back down in the argument. 

  
  


It has almost been a week since that fight. Osamu couldn't bear the cold atmosphere anymore. When Rintaro had left him alone in their apartment the night of the fight, he took the time to mull things over especially Rintaro's words which rang in his mind over and over. Upon realizing what Rin was trying to get through to him, he immediately tried to think of a way to fix things.

  
  
  


Rintaro had his eyes closed as he was on the train ride home to their apartment, tired from the exhausting volleyball practice. His phone vibrated signaling that he received a new message. With eyes still closed, he brought out his phone to see what it was, and his face soured seeing that it was a message from Osamu. He opened it anyway. It was a link to a song. Rintaro rolled his eyes at this, but he was also eager to listen to the song. 

He was awfully tired and wanted to sleep in silence but he knew that in their relationship, sharing of songs was an act of love and was always more than they seemed. The volleyball player put on his earphones and pressed play on the unfamiliar song. He focused on the lyrics;

> _I'm sorry_
> 
> _Two words I always think_
> 
> _After you're gone_
> 
> _When I realize, I was acting all wrong_
> 
> _So selfish_
> 
> _Two words that could describe_
> 
> _Oh, actions of mine_
> 
> _When patience is in short supply_
> 
> _We don't need to say goodbye_
> 
> _We don't need to fight and cry_
> 
> _Oh, we, we could_
> 
> _Hold each other tight, tonight_

He gave a small laugh. _Such a cheesy move_ , he thought. Yet he smiled all the way home with the song on repeat.

  
  
  


"Is this really your way of trying to apologize?" Rintaro tried his best to retain a hardened facade though deep inside he felt soft because of his love's gifts. His pride would not allow himself to give in, especially after an intense fight. Four pieces of his favorite variation of onigiri were masterfully crafted and plated in front of him, along with his favorite jelly sticks wrapped with a bow like a bouquet. "Well.." Osamu rubbed the back of his neck while trying to find the words to say. This small gesture of his was all it took for Rintaro's facade to falter and he shattered into laughter. It was just too cute for him to bear. Rintaro gave him a warm hug, one which Osamu had definitely missed, and so he hugged him back with a firm yet loving grip. "I'm sorry too. I could have handled things better." It was almost a whisper, but Osamu caught every single genuine word. He wanted to stay like this a bit longer but Rintaro released himself from the hug. "We better eat these onigiri before they get cold, 'Samu.", he gave the chef a warm smile. 

IV.

Being in the pro league is way different from high school volleyball. The training regimen was far harsher and more vigorous. Add to that, the coaches had less mercy. Unfortunately for Rintaro, today was an off day for him and he got called out numerous times. 

He knew better than to punch his locker out of frustration, as his hands were an asset now after all. With a stifled scream, he threw his towel at the locker room’s floor and resigned himself to the bench nearby. He almost hit his head too hard when leaned back on the locker behind where he was sitting. The negativity for himself that he always bore started to cloud his mind again. He started spiraling down his dark state of mind when his phone rang. The interruption almost made him throw his phone at the wall but he caught himself before he did anything rash. Of course, it was Osamu. Rintaro accepted the call and remained silent as he waited for Osamu to speak first.

The other line stayed silent for a while. “..Off day today?” Osamu finally said in a gentle voice. They had been together for almost 5 years now, and it still amazes Rintaro how Osamu could read him even though he knew for a fact that he was unreadable. This didn’t change how he was tired and irritated at himself though. Rintaro remained silent, not wanting to admit that his guess was right. Instead, a deep sigh confirmed it. At this point, Osamu knew better than to talk any more than necessary, but also not to withdraw in saying the reason why he called. He knew that this would only add to Rintaro’s annoyance. “I heard a song on the radio today while I was having a break. It reminded me of you. I’ll prepare dinner tonight, your favorite.” Osamu made sure to make his points concise. Rintaro appreciated how much Osamu understood him now during the times when he felt down. A small hum was all he could muster at the moment. “Stay safe on the way home.”, the gentleness in Osamu’s voice soothed him much more than he was willing to admit. “You too.”, he replied. 

Osamu sent a link to the song which he referred to a while ago. With earphones on, Rintaro listened to it, leaning his head full of heavy thoughts on the locker behind him. 

> _No one else can make me feel_
> 
> _The colors that you bring_
> 
> _Stay with me while we grow old_
> 
> _And we will live each day in springtime_
> 
> _'Cause lovin' you is easy 'cause you're beautiful_
> 
> _And every day of my life is filled with lovin' you_

He couldn’t help but smile at how Osamu always made him feel loved. His mind got a bit clearer knowing that the love of his life is always there to support him everyday. 

Osamu was in the middle of preparing to close up the restaurant when he got a text from Rintaro. “Can’t wait for dinner.”, it read. Osamu smiled. 

V. 

Their five years of being together was definitely a ride with unexpected twists and turns. Arguments often erupted but they always made up, mostly thanks to Osamu’s efforts. The fact that it was mostly Osamu who reconciled them did not escape Rintaro for even a second. Deep inside, Rintaro believed himself to be the type of person who could never make a relationship work. He started to feel bad for making Osamu go through his stubbornness, pride.. and other negative traits of his which he thinks stops him from being as kind and loving as Osamu. 

Their last quarrel was different from anything they had all these years. It was a rather calm fight, which was actually scarier than their heated arguments. Both were just already so tired, not of each other, but of just being together. There was a difference and both of them understood it well. 

“I know that we promised that we’d work through things together. But aren’t you just tired of this already?” Osamu said with an exasperated expression. 

A cold wave flooded through Rintaro’s whole body. There it was. The word that he feared would come out of the lips of his beloved. Tired. _I knew from the start that this would happen,_ he thought regretfully. _Better to end it sooner than later_. 

Ever since that day, Rintaro started to become distant. Osamu minded, but he didn’t bother this time. One could say he did not really care, which surprised even himself. 

A week passed, and Rintaro initiated that both of them go their separate ways. He wanted time away from Osamu, and Osamu respected this. It even felt like a relief for him. 

  
  


It was only after a week of solitude that Osamu realized that he didn't actually want to break up, and that he still wanted to be by Rintaro's side no matter what. However, he kept in mind Rintaro's wishes. Though the pain was like a million knives stabbing him over and over, he refrained from contacting Rintaro.

  
  


Osamu had already lost track of the months of stillness between them. He used to take notice of the days because of the constant itch to check his phone for new messages everyday. As each day passed, his disappointment grew, along with the longing to hear from Rintaro again. Those days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and those painful months felt so stretched out that it blurred his concept of time.

  
  


It was around 8 pm as Onigiri Miya's final customers for the day headed out the door, thanking the chef for the meal. The employees cleaned up and then prepared for closing. Osamu bid the employees a safe trip home as he did the final preparations to close his restaurant.

After a few minutes, he closed the lights and headed out. As he locked the front door, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He nonchalantly fished it out, thinking it was just Atsumu and his usual antics. However, his eyes widened when he saw the name on the bright display. _Rin_. His heart started racing and his head was suddenly full of thoughts. It was what he had been waiting for all this time, and yet he did not know how to react once he finally had it. The shock made him slightly lightheaded and so he sat on the footsteps of Onigiri Miya, eager to read what his silent lover had finally sent. It was a song file with a title he was unfamiliar with. Nothing more, nothing less. The cool breeze of the autumn night ruffled his dark hair and he shuddered as he stared at the play button. For some reason, it made him uneasy. He pressed play. 

The song started out with soft piano notes, then an accompaniment. Rintaro had sent an instrumental. Osamu gently scoffed, thinking how it was like a cruel joke that Rintaro would send an instrumental piece after months of silence. It was as if even in song, Rintaro still did not want to speak. His attention was brought back to the song when violins joined the harmony. He smiled. Rintaro knew that Osamu loved the elegant, silky sounds that only violins could make. As the song played out, memories of them being together flashed into Osamu's mind. Their high school days in which Osamu had been silently pining for Rintaro. Their volleyball practices together. Their awkward yet memorable first date. The way they had shouted at each other over some matters that he had already forgotten. The way they had held each other tight at night, especially the times when the nights were colder than usual. Everything came rushing back to him. It was a gentle, simple song yet it stirred in him different emotions which clashed and fought each other. However, the sweet melancholy was the one which prevailed. He felt his chest tighten. This was not a new feeling these past few months, yet it is a feeling that he will never get used to.

When the final notes marched off into the distance, finally becoming white noise, he breathed out. The pain of the pent up silence manifested itself into tears that welled up in his eyes. With a pained, bittersweet smile, he looked up at the night sky which now seemed to sparkle less that it had before. He stared at the vast sea of stars above him as he made peace with the realization that the song was not a mere recommendation. Though there were no words, the message was clear. 

It was Rintaro saying that he is grateful for the past 5 years. It was a sincere apology for failing to keep their promise of working through things no matter how difficult the circumstances became. It was his love's beautiful, final goodbye. Message received. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! It really means a lot to me.
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing a fic, so comments and critiques are much appreciated! 
> 
> The title "Arrhythmia" is from Damon Albarn's Lonely Press Play. I titled it as such because of how the events alternate between fluff and fights.. both of which causes irregular heartbeats. It is also like their love's irregular rhythm.
> 
> Also.. music.. has beats.. ehehe. 
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for taking the time to read Arrhythmia! 
> 
> Songs that Osamu and Suna sent each other:  
> 1\. Let Me In by Snowmine  
> 2\. I'd Like To Walk Around In Your Mind by Vashti Bunyan  
> 3\. Sit Down Beside Me by Patrick Watson  
> 4\. So Sorry by Feist  
> 5\. Lovin' You by Minnie Riperton  
> 6\. Autumn Colors by Peder Helland


End file.
